In the last edition, I printed some harsh words about the iconic View From The Top, words uttered by Rotten Tomatoes and Gwyneth Paltrow. After publishing, I decided to rewatch the movie, and I was surprised to find it’s not that bad? I will maintain that it’s not a definitive take on flight attendants (in fact, one of the movie’s flaws is that it’s sometimes too distracted to fully immerse us in the world of flight attending), but it was not a disaster, and even enjoyed it at points! I feel like the reason people might have hated it is that it’s a chick flick that is not fully a rom-com (in spite of featuring copious amounts of a young Mark Ruffalo), and non-rom-com chick flicks have traditionally struggled in an industry in which the concept of a woman wanting things other than a man is still a headscratcher. So I’m dedicating today’s newsletter to what I’m calling “work-coms,” meaning movies that are a) comedies with b) female protagonists who c) have careers that are actually explored and d) may feature romance, but only to further define the protagonist’s journey, as opposed to being the journey—you could remove the love stuff and the movie would still work.
Starring Sandra Bullock: Miss Congeniality
The pitch: Witness meets My Fair Lady with a no-skip soundtrack.
Me gusta porque: Forget The Blind Side (assuming you remember it)—this is the definitive Sandra Bullock performance. (Yes, “definitive” has been incorporated into the lexicon of this newsletter since the last edition, alongside “take.”) I might be biased because my family owned this VHS tape, and this is one of the movies that taught me English, but I have never come across another film that harnessed Bullock’s physical appearance, comedic timing, and established persona in such an effective way. She plays Agent Gracie Hart, a lonely mess who turns men off with her rejection of traditional feminity—but (in a contrived twist) is also the FBI’s only viable option to infiltrate the Miss USA pageant and prevent a terrorist attack. She (gasp) turns out to be really hot when her hair is combed, and the film has maybe too much fun putting her through the many, many paces to become a credible Miss New Jersey—the movie’s gender politics are sometimes very confusing, upholding women but also objectifying and dunking on them. However, this is not a feminist parable and I’d urge you to not watch it as such; it is, more than anything else, the story of Gracie relearning to interact with a world that has rejected her since childhood for not fitting in. And in that, the movie succeeds quite nicely! The evolution of her interpersonal relationships, particularly with her beauty pageant coach (played by an amazing Michael Cane before he had the thankless job of scolding/crying for Batman for almost a decade), is the highlight of the story. It says something about how committed the movie is to Gracie that the least interesting plotline is her romantic relationship with Benjamin Bratt, which is laden with latent misogyny and not-quite-there sexual chemistry; much better are its depictions of sisterly love (and girl-on-girl crime) between Gracie and the other contestants. It takes a special kind of movie to make a random date popular; it’s not quite up there with October 3rd, but all I need to do to know who the real ones are in a room is to say “all you need is a light jacket” and see who laughs.
Where? Sadly, you’re gonna have to rent this one.
Wait, Candice Bergen is in this? Wasn’t she in View From The Top as well? Correct! It is my personal belief that Miss Congeniality single-handedly reframed Candice Bergen in America’s consciousness, paving the way for a fruitful, post-Murphy Brown second act as a character actress playing various glamorous, powerful women. All of them are indebted to this performance as Miss USA director (and former winner); you see echoes of it in View From The Top, though that movie gives her a lot less to do—she certainly does not get to say “This is Texas, everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun.”
Wait, William Shatner is in this? He is! But in his case, it didn’t really herald a post-Star Trek second act. He is quite enjoyable in it, though! Not so much in the sequel.
There’s a sequel? Yes. And it feels very much like one, so proceed at your own peril. It’s worth pointing out that Regina King is in it, so it has some historical value for Regina King stans. The early 2000s were a weird time for her and require careful study—she was also in Legally Blonde 2 and Daddy Day Care, as well as the most important movie of Hillary Duff’s career, A Cinderella Story.
I’ve already watched it! Then re(I’m assuming)watch Legally Blonde (which you’ll also have to rent)! It has the opposite journey of Miss Congeniality: an overtly feminine heroine (Reese Witherspoon) enters a mostly masculine/serious space (Harvard Law School) and learns to get along with the people inside in order to get what she wants (originally a man, an objective that is quickly chucked in favor of getting a) a law degree and b) Ali Larter out of prison). Plus, Jennifer Coolidge, who was also in A Cinderella Story. I feel a Jennifer Coolidge edition coming on!)
Starring Jennifer Garner: 13 Going On 30
The pitch: A lazy person might describe it as “Big but with a girl and it’s set in publishing instead of advertising.” I would describe it as “that ‘what the hell happened to my life’ feeling you get every once in a while but in movie form.”
Me gusta porque: this is not the first time I bring up 13 Going On 30; in the early aughts of this newsletter, I wrote a short story that shares a vibe with it. In the follow-up essay, I described the movie as being about
a young 13 year-old girl, Jena Rink, who like most of us at any age, hates herself — except she feels the self-hate with more intensity because she is a teenager, and she lives in New Jersey. Eventually it all gets to be too much, and she locks herself up in a basement closet while chanting a mantra that she read in her favorite magazine, Poise: ‘30, and flirty, and thriving.’ What do you know, the next morning she wakes up and she’s 30!
This accurately sums it up, but the real meat of my reflection was further down:
Watching the movie now that I’m in my 30s (…) I realize the “lesson” of it has changed for me. When I was a kid, what I took from it was “don’t grow up, growing up is gross,” which remains true, but I can’t help because it has already happened. So now, what I take from it is a great metaphor for moments when you take stock of your life and realize that a good chunk has already gone by and you’re not necessarily where you thought you’d be, or more importantly, who you thought you’d be.
See, Jena wakes up at 30 living (theoretically) her best life, working at Poise with the high school queen bee, who is now her best friend. BUT she’s also, how to put it… a huge asshole. Turns out (spoilers crossed over, feel free to skip) that she’s cheating on her boyfriend by sleeping with a colleague’s husband and is sabotaging the magazine in order to get a big job at a competitor. Garner’s performance as a 13-year-old finding these harsh truths about her dream self is delightful—it’s hard to play innocent without being grating (the only other example I can think of that works is Amy Adams in Enchanted) and Garner has broken my heart every time I’ve watched the movie. Plus, the climatic pitch she comes up with would make Don Draper proud, and I’ve kinda stolen it for several of my marketing gigs. My only qualm is the ending, which leans too heavily into the romance (this movie also borders on rom-com due to copious amounts of Mark Ruffalo) and negates some of Jena’s journey, denying her the opportunity to pick up and regroup and preferring to follow Big’s lead instead. But I dare you not to cry (or stream Vienna on repeat) while watching the scene in which adult Jena revisits the parents she alienated.
You had me at Julie Greer! Oh Julie Greer, the super trooper of chick flicks. Why is she always so good, and why do movies so often fail to live up to her? She can’t do it alone, people! I’m not loving her second act in big franchises (Jurassic World, Halloween)—she feels even more underutilized. What she absolutely must get is a splashy HBO mini-series that explores her career in a meta way, à la The Comeback or Hacks. Hire me to write it!
Wait, Brie Larson is in this? Yes! She is a Chick in the Six Chicks. Even Mark Ruffalo didn’t know this.
Where: HBO Max or Peacock (Premium)
I’ve already watched it! The bildungsroman vibe leads me to somewhat unnaturally (but quite emphatically) point you to Confessions of a Shopaholic. I don’t like Isla Fisher in anything and I love her in this—her out-of-control shopping addiction has her doing similar work to Garner, convincing us that she’s innocent of the harm she’s causing. This barely qualifies as a work-com because all the work she does is writing a basic-ass column comparing finances to clothes, but I’ll allow it because her journey into sobriety is at the core of the plot, and is not exclusively tied to her romance with Hugh Dancey (who was clearly laying the foundation for his role in Hannibal). Also, the way Kristin Scott Thomas says “tiny!” is an instant classic!
Before we move on: for the love of God (and I say this knowing it’s probably already in the works) do NOT turn 13 Going On 30 into a Broadway musical.
Starring Anne Hathaway Mery Streep Emily Blunt: The Devil Wears Prada
The pitch: How dare you ask for a pitch? If you have not seen this movie already you have no business subscribing to this newsletter.
Me gusta porque: I’ve watched all the movies in this edition more than once, but I can sincerely say I have no idea how many times I’ve watched The Devil Wears Prada. Maybe 20? 35? 50? All those numbers strike me as equally possible. For one, this is a movie that must be rewatched often, to remind oneself to not be a stupid bitch and stay in jobs one does not like. But also: talk about definitive takes! This isn’t the only movie on this list to take place at a fashion magazine (a staple of chick flicks) but there is absolutely no movie ever in any genre or era that can do what The Devil Wears Prada did for the fashion industry. It’s the only reason I know names like Valentino or Jimmy Choo, which I would’ve never learned otherwise (even though I haven’t done anything with that knowledge, since I don’t have the money or desire to afford them). Gisele Bündchen is in it and is not cringe (like when she was in Taxi). It has an iconic monologue about the color blue, for chrissakes!
And not just the fashion industry: think about what this movie has done for culture at large. It gave us the perfect reaction gif to anything underwhelming. It gave us “this other character is the villain” discourse (most recently put to good use in Kimberly Belflower’s John Proctor Is The Villain). It gave us Emily Blunt, and for all we know, it gave us the Blunt-Krasinski marriage and the Blunt-Krasinski offspring (which includes the Quiet Place movies)! I mean, wouldn’t you marry Emily Blunt after seeing this movie? How can you not marry her after she says “I will search every Blimpie’s in the tri-state area?” This is a four-quadrant movie masquerading as a chick flick and there’s simply no reason not to watch it yet again.
Wait, but what is it about? The possibility of you not knowing makes me want to troll you and feed you the plot to Bedazzled instead, but I shall resist. It’s about Anne Hathaway wanting to be a journalist but no one hires her because New York is a horrible place, so instead she becomes the assistant of a thinly veiled version of Vogue’s editor-in-chief Anna Wintour, played by Meryl Streep in Dolby-defying low volume. She is the devil in the title and does a lot of mean things involving unpublished Harry Potter manuscripts and esteemed colleague/dear friend Jacqueline Follet, creating a super toxic environment where everyone traumatizes each other (including a very mean and very pitiable Stanley Tucci). If it sounds like your workplace, you must watch! If it doesn’t, congratulations—but you still must watch!
Who do you think the real villain is? The real villain is obviously theater producer Kevin McCollum, who against all common sense and decency has continued to pursue a stage musical adaptation. If God had not intervened, it would’ve premiered in 2020; it is currently scheduled to run in Chicago later this summer, which feels like tempting the Lord to unleash another wave of the pandemic. Is this what you want, America? Another Mrs. Doubtfire? Some things peak in a specific format and do not need to be adapted into anything else.
But this used to be a book before it was a movie! I know! But it’s one of the few adaptations that’s generally considered better than its source material, so one could argue it did not peak as a book, and therefore it was okay to keep going.
But how can you know that the musical won’t—
Where? Hulu.
I’ve already watched it! Didn’t you read everything I wrote? Watch it again. And again.